The Law of Attraction is an extremely powerful force which effects our lives, whether we are aware of how it is working.
Have you ever had the experience of a stranger coming out of the blue and having a piece of information that you needed? Have you ever been steered away from making a mistake by a friend or stranger in the right place at the right time? Can you recall what this felt like?
Have you ever sensed your role in another person’s manifestation of an experience? You perhaps gave them something or did something that felt right for you and for them was an uncanny coincidence. Have you ever found yourself in the right place to provide something important for another person? Perhaps you felt compelled to talk to a stranger and you had the piece of information they were looking for?
I call this interplay between individuals ‘Dancing.’ We dance with others during every day of our lives. When we are open and willing, we participate and assist in the manifestation of their experience and others do the same for us. Some of these experiences are positive, and we feel like we are in the very flow of life. Other experiences are more challenging, or even negative, and can leave us questioning how we came to attract such a negative or painful experience into our lives.
Law of Attraction and Relationships:
As a life coach, spiritual mentor, intuitive business consultant and individual, I have come to understand the Law of Attraction as an extremely powerful force which effects our lives, whether or not we are aware of how it is working at any one time. Simply put, what we give our focus, emotion, and attention, we attract into our lives. Moving towards deliberate attraction requires an awareness of our intention, attention, and emotional state. In a sense, we move from subconsciously creating events in our lives to consciously and deliberately affecting our experience.
When talking about the law of attraction in relationships, several questions come up. Can we attract a specific person into our lives? Am I responsible enough? Did I attract this abuse from my colleague? Did I attract this partner? What about my friend did I attract her? Or even family members? How can I attract the relationship I want?
One of the issues these questions have in common is a search for where our responsibility ends, and another people begins.
Picking our Partners
Everyone that you attract into our lives and engage with, are a match to something that you are vibrating at either a conscious or subconscious level.
If we want to know what you are vibrating, look at who you are attracting. It is a perfect match!
There are different kinds of matches to our vibrations. The most obvious is when we get a similar match.
Ideally, we want to feel empowered, optimistic, and joyful and attract other empowered and optimistic people to us in all aspects of our life. When this happens, there is a sharing and connection that feels wonderful. It is a perfect match!
When feeling down, low vibration, you may attract a friend who calls to complain about all the things they are happy about. In this case, our low vibration is attracting someone of similar vibration. We will often engage with the person and stay at that low vibration or perhaps collectively go lower. How does this feel?
Have you ever had a friend or client stuck in a ‘victim vibration’ who seemed to attract abusive partners in their romantic or business relationships? Their vibration as a victim can be a match to a potential abuser. A second match to the ‘victim vibration’ is the rescuer. Rescuers, victims, and abusers create what we know as the ‘victim’ or ‘drama’ triangle. These three roles vibrate matches to each other, and individuals often get stuck moving from point to point in the triangle. In one relationship they may be the victim and in the next, they may be the rescuer or the abuser.
For example, many of my divorce friends I talk to fall into this trap. They continue to attract the same matches into their lives that they did not want in the first vibrational match and their vibration match become a revolving door for the same type of people.
There are other less obvious variations of this triangle. Chronically sick individuals, very desperate or needy people, often vibrate matches for people who try to help them or use them in some way.
Most children and many adults live their lives unconscious of the law of attraction and the many other forces at work in creating their experience. Such people are unaware of the effect of their attention, focus and emotions. Their energy may be scattered rather than focused, and their emotions may be mixed and reactive. Such people are ‘vulnerable’ and can become unconscious participants in the more focused and deliberate manifestation of others.
We know that most offenders pick their victims. This is a fact. They unconsciously or consciously match vulnerable children, adults, banks etc. at an intuitive level. Younger children, the elderly, or adults with disabilities are often chosen for this reason. Children, and some adults are then vulnerable to become part of a more deliberate plan and action by someone with greater intention, emotion, and focus.
In addition, there are individuals who use these same laws of attraction to manifest power for themselves, or harm to others. They believe they are right, entitled, or are unconsciously driven to such experiences. In some cases, their focus is collective and extremely powerful. Terrorists and other fear-based organizations are examples of this dynamic.
Free Will Free Choice
I once had a very amazing conversation with a Native teacher about the three concepts of destiny, potential, and free choice. To the best of my recollection, this is how he defined these concepts.
Destiny is an opportunity to fulfill a life’s purpose and soul mission. It is a predetermined circumstance that will manifest at some point in life. Some groups believe that we are born with predestined challenges that were agreed upon by our ancestors before our birth. Other believe that there are deals made with other souls before birth to be part of their enlightenment challenge here on earth.
Potential is when we are challenged, the experience has the potential to be a powerful healing or destructive force. If we rise to the challenge and act out of integrity and grace, we heal both present and past issues related to the event. If we fail the challenge, we hurt ourselves and others involved.
We all have free will or choice. Therefore, we cannot attract a person to us who does not want to engage with us. We choose whom we engage with and we choose our actions.
We attract matches into our lives. It is our choice to engage with them or not. We are responsible for our actions. They are responsible for what they choose to do.
As we become more aware, we can also consider matches and experiences as powerful information and feedback as to what we are vibrating. We can also choose to engage or not engage, stay, or leave. We can also choose to use this information to move ourselves to a different level of vibration.
Working with Others
Many of my mentees, clients and business partners have been engaged in some form of the drama triangle. I have found the Law of Attraction to be extremely helpful in teaching an awareness of their emotions and how they are affecting their experience. They can learn that when they are in a victim mentally or victim vibration, they are going to attract matches and choose to engage or not. They also learn the importance of changing their vibration and witnessing a change in the people they attract. By choosing a different vibration, they become empowered and even begin to heal!
Coaches and Mentors
For law of attraction coaches and mentors, we put out the intention of assisting others and attract such experiences to ourselves in the form of clients. We offer ourselves as servant leaders for individuals who are choosing to manifest events in their lives. This experience is often very intuitive and joyful. We feel like we are in the right flow of life.
At times, we will attract people who will want to elevate us to heroes and rescuers. They will say things like no-one understands me but you. This, however, does not empower, it keeps them in their comfortable ‘victim’ role. Mentors and coaches may become seduced into the role of rescuer and join the client in the drama triangle.
As a law of attraction life coach, we can share powerful information and tools to empower others to make their own decisions and assume a new kind of responsibility in their relationships. We can empower others to claim their purpose, own their power, light up their soul and increase in every area of their lives with joy and fulfilling relationships!