I Don’t Give Myself The Love, Compassion and Understanding

In the last lesson, you learned that your opinion of yourself is the only one that matters. In this lesson, you’ll see that how you treat yourself matters, too.
You are a compassionate, kind, and loving person. When someone makes a mistake, you are gracious toward them, understanding that everyone makes mistakes.
You are patient with others, giving them time to learn and change. If someone struggles with a particular task or doesn’t make as much progress on a task as expected, you give them grace.

But you don’t treat yourself in the same way.

For some reason, you don’t believe that you deserve the same love, compassion, grace, and understanding that you give to others.
Maybe you were told from a young age that you needed to be perfect. Maybe you’ve somehow unconsciously adopted the idea that you shouldn’t make the same mistakes that others make.
Whatever the case, you are really hard on yourself.
Your limiting belief is that you should be perfect, and if you’re not perfect you feel like you need to punish yourself.
When you make a mistake, you endlessly berate yourself, feeling like you shouldn’t have made it. You’re not compassionate and gracious toward yourself. You don’t love yourself very much. You hold yourself to an impossible standard.
This limiting belief makes you feel like you’re never enough. Like you’re never worthy, never acceptable, never doing enough things. It’s a very unhappy limiting belief.

Rewriting The Limiting Belief

Now let’s rewrite the limiting belief with a set of empowering beliefs.

Limiting Belief:

Empowering Belief:

It’s really important to rewrite this limiting belief. If you don’t, you’ll always be unhappy, miserable, and feel like you’re never doing enough.
Please understand that, just like everyone else, you are human. You make mistakes, and that’s okay. You have off days, and that’s not a problem. There are times when you’re not as productive or don’t get as much done, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
In other words, you’re not perfect (and you’re not supposed to be).
Your new belief is that you deserve the same grace, compassion, love, and patience that you extend to others.
You are patient with others. Be patient with yourself. You are loving toward others. Be loving toward yourself. You have compassion and mercy for others, so have compassion and mercy for yourself.
Simply put, avoid being so hard on yourself! You’re human, and humans aren’t perfect. You deserve kind treatment from yourself.

Action Steps

  • The next time you’re being hard on yourself, ask yourself this question: “How would I treat someone else who is in my shoes?”
  • Extend that same loving, gracious treatment toward yourself. Apply the Golden Rule to yourself. Get into a habit of treating yourself just like anybody else.

Affirmation

I am human, just like everyone else. It is okay for me to struggle and make mistakes. When that happens, I deserve the same compassion and grace that I give to others.
I refuse to hold myself to a standard that I avoid holding others to. I love myself, even when things turn out imperfectly.
I treat myself as I treat others – with love, compassion, and patience.

Looking Forward

Do you feel that asking for help makes you look weak? In the next lesson, you’ll discover that it’s actually a strength. Learn the benefits of working with others and how to make this a belief that helps – not hinders – you.